thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
