what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
