I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
