I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
