Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
