hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
