What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
