hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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