doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
