But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
