Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Randomize
