with your own penis?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
