I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
