dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
