ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
