He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Randomize
