my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
