if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
