Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
