He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
