fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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