I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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