So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize