i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
