Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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