In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
