My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
