Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
