we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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