Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize