Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
