I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
