i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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