dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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