how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
