Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
