The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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