her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
