did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
