YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
