Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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