we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
