I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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