Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
