Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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