this boner is exhausting
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
