this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
