All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
