so explain again why im purple
no
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
