I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
