You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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