She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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