There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
