"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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