so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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