watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
