Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
