oh god the rape fog is back!
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
