I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
We just shotgunned beers for America
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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