I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize